Illustration of a wheelchair with cans tied to the back if it, spelling out the letter 'H'

H is for Happy Ending – #EndTheAwkward

No not that kind. We’re talking happy-ever-afters and the kind of long lasting relationship where love overcomes any awkwardness along the way. In this post Kelly tells us what it was like meeting and marrying her husband Jaz. 

H is for Happy Ending is part of Scope’s A to Z of sex and disability.

There are times that I thought that I would never get a ‘happy ending’.  I doubted myself, and thought that I could never be found sexually attractive. I always got with the wrong guys and I never had any respect for myself.

That all changed when I met Jaz at college, it sounds cheesy but it’s true. My group of friends were all guys. All loud, erratic, ‘guy’ guys. I fit in perfectly! They saw straight past my disability and they treated me like any other friend. At school I always focused hard on fitting in at first and then, when I realised I didn’t fit… rebelling.

A close up of Kelly and Jaz's wedding rings as they hold hands.Meeting my new friends made me realise that was okay. Jaz and I flirted for quite a while and we’d often sneak off on secret days out away from our other friends. It was apparent quite quickly that we wanted to be in each others lives and we’ve always been quite full on.

After months and years of on off, teenage angsty “love”, we went our separate ways (Jaz went to uni and I went to work). Throughout that time it always felt as if there was something missing.

Becoming one of ‘those couples’

Jaz places his arm around Kelly on their wedding day. They are both smiling.

Jaz and I got back together after some time away and things had shifted slightly. We were adults! We couldn’t get away with drinking traffic light shots on grimy pub sofas and me being chucked around the room with our mates anymore. So we did it, we went on a date, a real date, and it was amazing.

It was valentines day (which is also Jaz’s birthday!) and although I really liked seeing Jaz, I was playing hard to get, so my friend Jess and I decided to go for a meal together and hate on all of the lovey-dovey couples around. However, Jess bailed as she was ill so I decided to take Jaz out. We went for the meal and we became one of ‘those couples’ (sorry everyone!)

Ending the awkward

Throughout our relationship Jaz and I have experienced a few awkward moments but we really don’t let them faze us. Obviously Jaz does a lot for me but that is just part of our daily routine. However, the way we are perceived by other people is often unusual.

People have often said to Jaz, “Oh you are dating a girl in a wheelchair, fair play!” as if he is doing me some kind of service. People often talk to Jaz instead of me and when we are out and about we do get some pretty weird questions… especially when it comes to sex!

It just depends on our mood as to how we respond to the questions. Sometimes we will make us bizarre tales and other times we will just shrug them off – it just depends on how many drinks we have both had.

Kelly and Jaz smiling on their wedding day in the center of a group of their family and friends who are throwing confetti. It is sunny and everyone is smiling.

The big day finally arrived

Jaz makes me do things that I’d never normally do. Jaz is my best friend and we help each other achieve our goals. In April 2015 we finally got married! After years of back and forth, teenage mood swings, and just life getting in the way, we finally did it!

Our wedding day was absolutely perfect, we travelled to London from Birmingham with a coach full of Black Country folk. Safe to say, central London didn’t know what had hit it!

We were there for the weekend with our family and close friends and everyone was staying over. It was like a huge party. As for the ceremony it was everything I ever imagine it would be. It’s a strange feeling, marrying your best friend (again cheesy but true). It just felt right, like it had all finally fallen into place.

Even on our wedding day Jaz was pushing my boundaries. I was so nervous about our first dance to the point I actually considered cancelling it because my legs often give way under pressure. Can you imagine a more high pressure situation than everyone watching you? I was also worried that it would be pretty boring for our guests as I’m not exactly Michael Flatly, it’s not like they could expect anything more than for us to just stand and sway!

But Jaz convinced me. We danced to our song and Jaz made sure I was comfortable. I can honestly say it was the best feeling in my life. I got my Happy Ending (or beginning) and I know I will continue to be happy with Jaz as my equally evil accomplice.

Kelly and Jaz on their wedding day during their first dance. Jaz is holding Kelly up out of her wheelchair and they are smiling at each other.