Ever been put off your food by couples’ café canoodling, or been caught getting steamy with your lover in public? We’ve all had awkward PDA moments… For disabled people and their partners, getting intimate can lead to particularity memorable PDAs.
P is for PDAs is part of Scope’s A to Z of sex and disability.
Marie from Milton Keynes
“Dan and I had just started dating. It was midnight and we were on the way home from the pub, holding hands. Dan’s into astronomy so we stopped to look at the stars. What could be more romantic on a beautiful evening? A kiss seemed like the natural thing to do. After a moment, I became aware that a police car was driving past very slowly.
The officer was staring out of the window – eyes on sticks – like we were committing some kind of crime. He was concentrating so hard on us that he ended up mounting the pavement and crashing into a street sign. We couldn’t believe it! A few seconds later we heard the wail of the sirens and he sped off, clearly embarrassed. We still laugh about that incident now.” Read more from Marie and Dan.
Martyn from Cambridge
“My fiancé Kasia and I were out in a pub. Someone was doing the typical thing of talking to her and not me. After breaking through the stereotype that I couldn’t speak, the person engaged with me. To then say how great it was that my sister had got me out of the house! We just laughed and kissed each other.”
Kate from Truro
“I went on holiday with my other half last year and we got talking to two really sweet old ladies from America. They thought he was my brother, but rather than setting them straight I made sure they saw us kiss. The look on their faces was priceless!”
Kelly and Jarath from Birmingham
Kelly: “My husband Jarath and I got married this year. The asylum where we got married had steps at the front and a ramp at the back. My brother is in a wheelchair as well and he’d come round with us to the back and a lot of the residents of the place were saying, ‘Congratulations!’ but they were saying it to me and my brother! Because my brother’s in a wheelchair like me, they thought we’d got married. Like I couldn’t possibly get married to someone who’s not in a wheelchair.”
Jarath: “In the cinema, (which is probably the weirdest place where people would have a problem with people cuddling), we’re in the carer wheelchair space, where it’s kind of a bit awkward to cuddle anyway. So I’m normally a bit leaned over to Kel, and she’s a bit leaned over, and you will get the row behind you going ‘whaaa?’ Just having a good old nose. Whatever they’re talking about they go silent for a good few minutes! They’re thinking ‘what are they doing? Is she alright? Are they meant to be doing that?’ You get that quite a bit, it’s entertaining.
You know people are stopping and staring but you do kind of tune it out. You can spend forever getting wound up. You can look, but it doesn’t bother us.” Read more about Kelly and Jarath.
P is for PDA is part of Scope’s A to Z of sex and disability. Read the rest of the A to Z.