An illustration of a person straddling a wheelchair user

X is for X-rated #EndTheAwkward

Spinal cord injuries and other impairments can affect the way people feel aroused and reach orgasm. Broadcaster and journalist Mik Scarlet is unable to get an erection after a spinal injury in his teens. He explains how this has led him to explore alternative erogenous zones, multiple orgasms and no end of X-rated fun…

X for X-rated is part of Scope’s A to Z of sex and disability. This blog contains frank information about sex. It’s meant for people over the age of 16, so please only continue if you are 16 or older.

Sex is so much more than the method for making babies. It should be fun, exciting and a great way of bonding with a partner, whether they are the love of your life, your current squeeze or a one night stand.

It’s this element of their sex life that many spinal injured people feel they have lost, especially early on when they are learning to live with their injury.

But trust me – nothing could be further from the truth.

If you’ve lost the ability to gain erections, but can still feel aroused, then with a little effort you will find that you can achieve multiple orgasms. It transpires that it is the erectile system that prevents men enjoying sex in the way women can, and once you experience this you tend to not miss a ‘hard-on’ in quite the same way.

For those who have lost sensation, there is now a growing group of therapists and disabled people, myself included, that are promoting various ways of turning the erogenous zones on the parts you can feel into orgasmic zones, which opens up a whole new world of sexuality.

There are many differing techniques so it might be worth trying a few to see which suits you. But trust me; it really is possible to orgasm even if you are paralysed from the neck down.

Sure, sex after a spinal injury will be different than it was before, but with the right attitude, support and partner it can be better.

When I incurred my spinal injury I thought my sex life was over, but nothing could beat the sex I have now. A lot of that is due to my injury and how it made me re-examine what it means to have sex.

• Read Mik’s article about sex and spinal injuries in full at Pos’ability magazine.  

In this video, Mik reveals how to create orgasmic erogenous zones anywhere on your body and how to enjoy “thought orgasms” by conjuring up your sexiest, X-rated fantasies.

• This video first appeared on the Wellcome Trust’s blog, Mosaic.

One thought on “X is for X-rated #EndTheAwkward”

  1. What a great post Mik!

    Me and husband have been experimenting with various errogenous zones and their orgasmic potential after he suffered a motorcyle accident. It has been a long road and has taken him some time to alter his perception about what sex ‘is’ but we’re now enjoying sex as much (if not more) than we used to.

    After all, good sex is about communication and these new approaches cannot be acheived without the proper communication and feedback, or without great, honest articles such as this!

    One thing I’d like to add is that as a qualified nutritionist I suggested that supplementing with things that can improve blood circulation to said errogenous zones (well, circulation in general!) would possibly improve and enhance the sensations felt by my husband.

    Let’s just say… I love it when I’m right! Haha, and in this case so does he! Ginger, Garlic and Beetroot, whether fresh or extracts are a great place to start. Enjoy! x

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