After an accident, Ben was in a coma for a month and has been working on his recovery ever since. He hasn’t let things hold him back, even when others doubted him. To give others hope, he’s written a book about his experiences. In this blog, he shares a bit of his story. If you want more, you’ll have to buy the book!
I got run over in the Dominican Republic. I was on holiday with my girlfriend at the time. It was the day before we left, we went out for a meal and we were walking back, literally a road away from our hotel, and a car span off the road on to the pavement and hit us both. It killed my girlfriend instantly and I was in a coma for a month. I had private healthcare insurance and that paid for me to go to a private hospital while I was in the coma and fly me back to England when I was able to travel.
Starting to recover
I didn’t know anything when I first came out of the coma. I couldn’t recognise people. My parents were there and my family but I couldn’t recognise that they were my family. To start with I couldn’t speak but that came back quite quickly.
I’d lost so much weight and I was so weak. The physio in the hospital was really good. They got me to do lots of things and my strength started to come back really slowly. Once I was out of hospital, the care team supported me for about 5 months. They were very cautious about what I could do. They wanted to risk assess everything. Fortunately I had a carer, Andrew, who’s now become quite a good friend and we just went out and did things. I think my recovery would have been worse if I hadn’t done that.
Basically the brain injury that I had is that my neurons were shaken up so much that they lost lots of connections to other neurons. You brain is just a bit messed up. I think over time the brain recreates those connections so it is something that generally gets better but I’m not there yet. Recovery is still an ongoing process.
Not taking no for an answer
I wanted to go to Glastonbury that year and the care team was like “no, not for three years” but that just made me more determined to go. They said recovery would take a long time, anyway and there were leaps I took to aid my cognitive rehabilitation. Leaps I took into the unknown that did help my recovery. These were leaps that people told me I couldn’t do, however, this made me more determined to do this.
Deciding to write a book
When I was seen by Hammersmith hospital they did lots of brain scans and showed them to doctors, saying “What do you think of this guy, how he’s doing?” and from looking at the scan they guessed that I would be doing terribly and would be in a wheelchair. When he told them that wasn’t the case they were like “Really? How?” – it just shows that brain scans aren’t the best way to predict someone’s future. So he said to me afterwards, you need to write about this because it will give hope to other people going through this.
I went away and thought about it a lot. I wanted to get lots of voices in and it took a long time to find someone who could edit it all together. It’s all about me and my recovery from lots of different points of view and it all comes together as a melange of different stories. To begin with it was incredibly difficult but it was good writing the bits from my own perspective, my take on things.
I hope it helps people going through a similar experience
My experience really shows just how much support you need and how difficult it is to find the right support, but given the opportunity you can do a lot. My best support has certainly been from my family and friends but I’ve had help from people from all different walks of life. I hope people going through something similar would get something from it and also their friends and family. This has had an impact on me and my family, massively.
I don’t know what will happen next. I want to promote the book and see how that does. It’s been difficult having to change my plans. To begin with I was trying to get back to where I was, especially in terms of the job I used to do, but I’ve started to accept that some things will have to change. It’s been good to broaden my horizons.
To read more about Ben’s experience, buy his book here.