Angela spent years looking for the right kind of social care and eventually she found it. For a while she enjoyed having complete control over her life and led a very active one at that. However, in the past few years, drastic changes to her social care have left her isolated. In support of our Christmas campaign, Angela is sharing her story.
My mum found out that I had cerebral palsy when I was two and a half. She took me all over the place to find answers and she was constantly fobbed off with “Oh your baby is just lazy”. When she did get the diagnosis they said, “She’ll never do anything, she’ll never speak”. Which wasn’t true and sadly it still happens to parents today.
But you can only thrive if you’re given the right support, and that’s often the biggest barrier to living a full life if you’re disabled. Something I know all too well.
I was always searching for something different
I grew up in residential schools and when I became an adult the only option – other than living with my mother – was to live in a residential home. I hated the regimentation. There was no independence and hardly any choice. You had to get up at a certain time, do this, do that, you only had three choices for your meals.
We were very isolated. The nearest town was Colchester and that was 10 miles away. There were no opportunities, nowhere to go. There was a factory on the grounds so we worked there. I had my 21st birthday there, among all these people that I didn’t know. It was very lonely. I was always searching for something different but I didn’t know what it was.
Then, one day I came across an article about a place that had the vision that you might be disabled but it doesn’t mean you can’t own your life and live your life. This was the first time I’d heard that kind of attitude.
I managed to get a place there but it was scary to begin with. By this time, I was in my mid-30s and I was so used to people deciding things for me. Suddenly I had a lot of say in how I lived my life. I could choose when I wanted a bath, when I wanted to go to the toilet, I could go out quite a lot. It was life-changing.
Finally living as an equal
After a few years I took the next step and decided that I wanted to live in my own place. It took a while to sort it out but soon I was moving into my own flat for the first time. I had two support workers who lived in a flat upstairs and were available to support me 24-hours a day. Finally, I was living as an equal.
My support workers relieved me of my ‘disability’ by doing things that I physically couldn’t do and I was in control of what I did and when I did it. I could invite friends round and they didn’t have to get involved with anything – they just saw me as me and not a disabled person. But sadly, this new life didn’t last.
Cuts to social care have left me completely isolated
I remember hearing there would be cuts and there were cuts. Over the last few years my social care support has changed dramatically and with it my life has changed for the worse.
The carers that come now only take me to use the toilet, prepare simple meals and do my personal care. I get half an hour in the morning, three quarters of an hour for lunch, half an hour in the middle of the afternoon, three quarters of an hour in the evening and half an hour around bedtime. It’s the same every day. Then I get 2 hours a week to do a shop and 2 hours for housework. It has completely taken away my independence and left me very isolated.
I can’t live a life now. I’ve lost many friendships. I can’t do most of the community activities I used to do. I can’t just get up and do things, be spontaneous. I have to think about the consequences of everything I do. I used to do a lot of campaigning but I can’t do that anymore. I virtually have no social life.
It’s a very lonely way to live. The social care system urgently needs to change. I have a right to live in my community as an equal.
Too often disabled people struggle to access the right emotional support, advice and information. As a result they feel like no one truly understands, leaving them disconnected and isolated from those around them.
Please help us this Christmas by getting involved with our What I Need To Say campaign. Share the message, tell us your stories, and donate to Scope so we can be there for people who have nowhere else to turn.