Throughout her life, people have made Rachel feel like she couldn’t achieve as much, because she has cerebral palsy. Those negative attitudes always spurred her on and today her hard work has paid off. Not only is she realising her dream of publishing a novel, she’s done this alongside her full time job, proving that with hard work, you can achieve anything.
In this blog, she writes about determination, pursuing your goals and seeing disability as a strength.
Having had cerebral palsy since birth, I realised when I was in primary school that I would always have to work harder than everyone else to achieve my dreams.
I worked so hard to learn to walk, to hold pens, to tie my shoelaces and to fasten buttons. Sometimes, I’d become angry and frustrated at not being able to do things my friends could but then I started to think about alternative ways of doing things, such as getting Velcro put on my shirts and shoes.
I have difficulty holding a pen, so it took me longer to write essays and do homework. Despite that, I loved writing diaries and stories as a way to understand my experiences and I dreamed of being a writer.
Having spent hours of my childhood having physio on my legs and hands to improve my co-ordination, it was ingrained in me that if I put the effort in, I would reach my goals. Which is why, when working full-time as a primary school teaching assistant, I decided to stop writing in my notebooks and actually knuckle down to take writing seriously.
My own experiences shaped my novel
When I started my novel, I wanted to use my writing as a vehicle to say something about my life. I chose to write about a young woman with a facial birthmark and relate some of my experiences and feelings growing up with cerebral palsy through her.
One theme in particular is how suffering cruel comments as a child forms her view of herself as an adult and how she finally accepts herself. The main difference between my central character and me is that Ivy can cover her disfigurement whereas my impairment is on view to everyone I meet.
People sometimes make judgements when they first see me. I’ve also had strangers ask what is wrong with me which I find intrusive. I can almost hear them breathe a sigh of relief when I say ‘cerebral palsy’ as they can compartmentalise me beneath that neat label.
Not giving up
There have been some evenings after challenging days in school when I just felt like sitting in front of the T.V. instead of looking at a computer screen for three hours. But having a long-held dream in my sights of becoming an author, I stuck at it.
Early last year, I submitted my first three chapters and synopsis to half a dozen literary agents. A couple got back to me to say that they liked my writing but my novel didn’t fit their list. Although disappointed, I was heartened by their response to my novel and I wasn’t about to give up on my dream.
The theme of the book is about putting the past behind you to live every day in the best way you can, which resonates deeply with me and I felt it was a message other people should read. So, I was delighted when the Book Guild offered me a publishing deal!
Seeing disability as a strength
From an early age, having cerebral palsy has given me a different perspective on the world to most people, forcing me to question why people act the way they do towards me, aspects which I’ve incorporated into my writing.
Writing is also all about hard work, routine and perseverance. Growing up having to spend hours learning how to walk or how to pick up and use a pen gave me qualities which have enabled me to complete my novel and achieve my dream of becoming a writer.
Somehow, I’ve managed to write a novel while having a full-time job and I think it’s my sheer determination that has got me through it.
Having cerebral palsy has not only made me into the writer I am, as I touch on disability themes in my work, but it’s been a defining factor in achieving my writing dreams.