Tag Archives: depression

Whatever the reason you’re having a ‘blue’ day, I’ve learned that talking is one of the best things you can do

Today, 15 January, is ‘blue Monday’ – the so-called ‘most depressing day of the year’.  For Josh, feeling ‘blue’ isn’t restricted to one day a year. In this blog, he writes about accepting his mental health struggles and why talking to people is one of the best things you can do.

For me, a lot of days feel like ‘blue Monday’. I have anxiety, depression and borderline personality disorder. I haven’t been in a good place the past few months. My anxiety sometimes makes it difficult to be happy. Over the years I’ve found good coping strategies. Talking to someone was one of the best things I ever did and now I encourage others to do the same.

I first started thinking about mental health at the age of thirteen. In the beginning there was no one to help me because I was just seen as a ‘problem child’. When I told teachers that I was struggling, they didn’t take me seriously. Once, I was in an exam and I told the teacher that I was feeling sick due to anxiety. They told me to “grow up and stop being pathetic”. That sent me over the edge. I felt alone for the first time. I failed the exam and I ended up in the hospital for an emergency appointment.

A turning point

That was a turning point for me. It happened in front of 180 people at school, so not only did it impact me, but it also impacted a lot of other young people who could have been going through similar things.

After that incident, everybody started treating me a bit differently and understanding me more. I realised that I was never going to get better if I didn’t talk to people about it. That was when I really started coming to terms with myself, my own needs and my own mental health.

Smiiffy, a young disabled man, smiles by a microphone

Destigmatising mental health

I’m very open on social media. I talk about mental health in a way that destigmatises it. I make people laugh, at the same time as showing that it’s a serious thing.

I wish people were less afraid of honesty. Even in music, a lot of things about mental health are censored. YouTube won’t promote my music because I’ve mentioned that I’ve felt suicidal or depressed, and Facebook won’t promote it. It really frustrates me. Especially when you see these platforms marketing things that you don’t need. And yet I can’t promote something with a positive message.

I often feel isolated. Sometimes I just prefer to be alone. I constantly feel alone in a crowd, even if I’m surrounded by good friends. I feel like I don’t fit in, which is really difficult sometimes. I posted that on social media. I wanted to start accepting my mental health and raising awareness, letting people know that it’s okay to talk about it and that there’s help out there.

Josh sits alone in a busy pub

Talking to people can help

In most families, there’s at least one person who will understand. The same goes for friends. I try to surround myself with good people. It might be difficult at first, but I’ve learned that talking will help in the long run. People will try to find a way to help you through hard times.

If you’re still not ready or not sure if people will understand, talking on social media can help things improve. You can be anonymous and sometimes that makes it easier to talk about the fact that you’re struggling, because you know that nobody will know who you are. It can also help you find like-minded people.

Letting people know that they’re not alone, and that there are other people there who are wanting to listen to them is incredible. I know from my own experience that it can be hard at first to talk to people around you, so I always say that people can talk to me. I’m very open on social media and lots of people do reach out.

Over the years, thousands of people have messaged me and said positive things and told me that I’ve helped them open up about their own mental health, which is incredible. For people who struggle to talk or feel like they’re not going to be heard, I want you to know that you will be heard, and that speaking out about what you’re going through can really help.

If you’re having a difficult time with your mental health, you can speak to your GP or contact organisations like Mind for support.

If you’d like to share your own experiences, get in touch with the stories team.

Connect with Josh on Twitter: @JoshSmiiffy 

Instead of venting my anger towards people, I’ve put it into a song – Smiiffy the rapper

Smiiffy is a 21-year-old rapper from Birmingham who is looking to challenge attitudes and raise awareness of mental health and disability.

For 30 Under 30, he spoke with us about how he is using his music to spread awareness of mental health and what he hopes his music will achieve.

It’s really important to be open about impairments as it can help break down barriers and end stigma.

I have Bilateral Perthes’ disease which means my cartilage is degenerating. It’s quite painful now and again but I’ve learnt to live with it. I’ve had around 15 operations and probably a lot more to come in the future.

I also have depression, anxiety, memory loss and probably a long list of everything else!

I’ve been quite open about it, however I haven’t always been confident in talking about it. I always had the fear of being rejected by people if I told them. Lately, I’ve become a lot more comfortable from support online and have opened up a lot more.

Smiiffy, a young disabled man, smiles by a microphone

I find comfort through using humour and writing music. My music is all about my experiences but I sometimes also write songs about experiences of people I’ve met.

Knowing that there are people listening to the lyrics and finding them relatable is brilliant.

You wouldn’t believe I have anxiety when I perform on the stage, everything just kind of goes away. I’m in my element and absolutely love what I do.

An exclusive rap for 30 Under 30

It’s time I show some clarity

I face facts and reality

Every single person is perfect the way that you are

Don’t let any physical or mental issue break who you really are

I’ve had shackles on my wrists and I’ve been scared to speak

I’ve had times where I’ve let tears take over my cheek

But now I’m stronger than that, that’s what you call unity

And when I feel this strong there’s nothing that anything can actually do to me

You can see more from Smiiffy on his YouTube channel and by following him on Twitter.

Smiiffy is sharing his story as part of 30 Under 30. Throughout June, we have been sharing one story a day from disabled people who are doing extraordinary things. Visit our website to see all of the stories in the campaign.

I was 21, a new mum, and terrified about the future: #100days100stories

We first shared Dionne’s story and film in August 2014. We’re republishing it here as part of Scope’s 100 Days, 100 Stories project. 

Dionne was in her first year at university in London when she became pregnant with Jayden, now aged seven. He has cerebral palsy, epilepsy and global development delays and isn’t able to walk, talk or sit up.

“I had no problems during the pregnancy, the problems started during labour,” Dionne says. “Jayden stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated at birth. He had seizures when he was just a day old and ended up in the special care unit. Doctors had no idea what was wrong with him.”

“I just had to get on with it”

Dionne had planned to go back to university to finish her degree, but Jayden’s care needs and many hospital appointments ma de that impossible.

She also faced a huge struggle getting any support for Jayden. He was born in one London borough but the family lived in a different one, so neither council wanted to take responsibility – and in any case, services were overstretched. Dionne and Jayden were living alone in a mother and baby unit, with no outside support.

“For the first three years of Jayden’s life we had nothing. No equipment at home, no physiotherapy other than a sheet of paper with instructions, and no real support. Everyone was talking but most people were not doing. I had so much hope in care services but time after time I was let down.

“I was 21, terrified about the future and extremely depressed. There were days when Jayden cried endlessly and didn’t sleep at all. We were both exhausted. I was always on standby for something to go wrong with my son and I hated feeling helpless. I was very critical of myself, and so were the people around me.”

“I go back time and time again”

Dionne originally contacted the Scope Helpline for advice about physiotherapy. She was put in touch with Vasu, a Scope regional response worker, who visited her at home to discuss the kind of support she needed.

Since then, they have worked together to tackle a huge range of issues relating to Jayden’s care, health and education. Vasu wrote to social services pushing them to take notice of Dionne’s case, and this led to Jayden finally being offered a physiotherapist.

Dionne says: “Vasu has sent me so much information about sources of funding and the latest treatments for cerebral palsy. He emails me application forms and sends them in the post as well just to make sure I receive them! He rings me unprompted to give me advice and see how I am. He’s even offered to send job opportunities my way.”

RS3249_DSC_0014Vasu also introduced Dionne to a solicitor to pursue a successful negligence
case against the hospital where Jayden was born, which will be a huge help in providing for his needs in the future.

“Out of all the organisations I’ve been to, Scope’s the only one that’s stuck,” Dionne says. “It’s an organisation I go to time and time again because things actually get done.

“Jayden is so aware and so intelligent. No matter what he goes through, even a seizure, he still has a smile for me. He just needs decent support so he can gain the independence he craves. I want Jayden to enjoy being a child, without restrictions, and I want to enjoy being a mum.”

Today is Time to Talk Day, which asks everyone to take five minutes to talk about mental health.

Find out more about 100 Days, 100 Stories, and read the rest of the stories so far.

 

A question of confidence

A guest blog from a volunteer at Scope’s Our Generation project. 

After two bouts of illness earlier in the year, I found I had lost my confidence and was struggling with anxiety and depression. The Health and Wellbeing visitor called and referred me to Our Generation Mentoring and Befriending Service. I hadn’t heard of the service and to be honest, I didn’t know what mentoring was. The Scope Co-ordinator called and explained everything. They matched me with my Mentor and we met at the office, which felt safe for our first meeting.

The meeting went very well and my Mentor really made me feel at ease. One of the things which we discussed was that I should like help to become more computer literate as my daughter is living overseas and it would help us to keep in touch. I made such good progress I surprised myself and have even bought an i-pad! My confidence in using it increases with each meeting. I have found that this increased confidence has permeated other areas of my life and I am now able to meet my Mentor in town.

Every two years I visit my daughter. I am due to go next year but the anxiety and depression I have experienced has made the lone journey seem incredibly daunting. However, since working with the Our Generation Mentor I can feel my confidence returning and I’m beginning to really look forward to this years visit.

I recently attended the Our Generation Xmas party which I thoroughly enjoyed. Just a few weeks ago I wouldn’t have believed that I could have the confidence to go along on my own.

The Co-ordinator has suggested I attend the Mentoring Skills Training Course at the office as my next challenge and I surprised myself by saying that I’ll think about it!

All I wanted was to go back to being ‘normal’

This blog entry is from one of our new mentors from Scope’s Our Generation project in Wakefield.

I am a 52-year-old woman originally from Glasgow. I moved to Wakefield six years ago with a new partner, following the breakdown of a relationship of 20 years. For the first three months we lived with relatives of my partner which I found extremely difficult. I had been suffering from depression, anxiety and OCD for a long time and I found living in someone else’s home a nightmare to deal with.

The situation took its toll – I was so desperate to have a place of my own that we declared ourselves homeless. Due to my medical difficulties I was classed as a priority and we were given a bungalow. All my belongings had been left behind in Glasgow so we moved in three days before Christmas with no furniture. I had also left my adult daughter behind in Glasgow which broke my heart and I found it hard to cope with the guilt of leaving her.

I hit rock bottom – my depression and anxiety got worse, I gained weight and hated myself. I felt I had nothing left to live for. It was at this point that I was put in touch with Scope and the mentoring service. At first I didn’t think it was for me as I had never needed support or help from anyone but I couldn’t cope on my own any longer, so I finally made arrangements for a Scope worker to visit me. I found her really compassionate and caring. She introduced me to a mentor who started to come to the house and eventually I found the courage to start going out. It was only small things like going out for a coffee or for a walk round the supermarket but it was a start.

All I wanted was to go back to being ‘normal’ – simple things like getting on a bus alone or going into a shop without having panic attacks. With the support of the service that is what I have managed to achieve. I still have times when I feel depressed and down but I now have friends who I know won’t and don’t judge me. Thanks to Scope I have some sort of life back and life doesn’t seem as bad as I once thought.

I have just finished the mentoring course with Scope and now hope to become a mentor to others. I just want to give someone the strength and courage to live their life as fully as they can. I am a different person thanks to the people at Scope and I hope I will make a huge difference to someone else’s life.

Our Generation is a free mentoring and befriending service that offers one-to-one support for disabled people and people with long-term health conditions over the age of 50.