Tag Archives: love

Scope’s Romance Classics #EndTheAwkward

Scope is celebrating Valentine’s Day by releasing swoonsome recreations of iconic Mills & Boon book covers – starring disabled people.

Just like more than a century of Mills & Boon cover art, Scope’s spoofs feature softly-lit scenes of blushing heroines and chisel-jawed hunks.

Scope Romance Classics comes after our recent poll* shows that just 6% of people in the UK have been on a date with a disabled person they met through an online dating site or app like Tinder.

Our previous research also found just 5% of people who aren’t disabled have ever asked out, or been on a date with, a disabled person. And less than one in five (16%) have invited a disabled person round to their house.

 

Scope Romance Classics are based on some of the racy and romantic stories that disabled people shared as part of our illustrated A to Z of sex and disability.

‘The Sensual Scribe’ by Penelope Friday

An illustrated spoof romance novel, 'The Sensual Scribe'Erotic fiction author Penelope started writing erotica featuring protagonists with disabilities when she started thinking about the lack of disabled characters in the genre.

“It was as if disabled people never had sex: we didn’t seem to exist in mainstream erotica. Sadly, this ‘disabled people don’t have sex’ attitude is one I’ve experienced in real life: I have an invisible disability (ME) and am treated like two different people, depending on whether I’m in my wheelchair or not.”

Our Sensual Scribe blogs about challenging attitudes through her work and why it’s important for mainstream publications to print erotica that features disabled people.

Read ‘The Sensual Scribe’ by Penelope Friday.

‘On the Prowl’ by Romina Puma

An illustrated spoof romance novel, 'On The Prowl'Romina is a comedian and has muscular dystrophy. In the run up to Valentine’s Day, she’s been using online dating apps in her search for Mr Right. The hunt is proving fruitless, as the matches she makes seem more interested in asking awkward questions about her impairment than getting to know her as the fabulous and funny person she is.

“Sometimes they ask me questions about my condition – what it is? Can I have sex? Yes I can! Everything works properly down there, don’t worry about that,”

Read ‘On the Prowl’ by Romina Puma.

‘One Track Mind’ by Mik ScarletETA valentines cards Mik_v3

Broadcaster and journalist Mik started to explore alternative erogenous zones after a spinal injury in his teens left him unable to get an erection.

He reveals how to create orgasmic erogenous zones anywhere on your body and how to enjoy ‘thought orgasms’ by conjuring up your sexiest, X-rated fantasies.

“There are many differing techniques so it might be worth trying a few to see which suits you. But trust me; it really is possible to orgasm even if you are paralysed from the neck down.”

Read ‘One Track Mind’ by Mik Scarlet.

‘Recipe for Romance’ by Ronnie Murray

An illustrated spoof romance novel, 'Recipe for Romance'Ronnie, who is group head chef at Mark Hix restaurants, has a shortened left arm.

He shares some sexy, stamina-inducing recipes for breakfasts in bed that will keep your lover’s strength up the morning after Valentine’s Day.

Read ‘Recipe for Romance’ by Ronnie Murray.

Get reading and share your favourite story on social media. Read more stories like this on our A-Z of Sex and Disability.

 

*On 1-2 February, Scope ran a Google poll of 500 people in the UK asking: Have you ever been on a date with a disabled person that you met through a dating website or app? Just 5.6% of people said ‘yes’, compared to 94.4% who answered ‘no’.

Scope’s Romance Classics: Romina Puma is ‘On the Prowl’

An illustrated spoof romance novel, 'On The Prowl'Romina Puma is a sexy comedian searching for Mr Right, and her hunt has led her into the deep dark jungle of online dating apps.

However, her online matches seem more interested in asking awkward questions about her muscular dystrophy than getting to know her as the fabulous and funny person she is.

Undeterred, Romina is using her stand-up to challenge attitudes to sex and disability.

This blog contains frank information about sex. It’s meant for people over the age of 16. 

Disabled people have sex and do it in different positions just like everyone else. One day it dawned on me that I’d never seen a Kama Sutra for disabled people – and why not?

Luckily, Google had the answer. I found a Kama Sutra poster for disabled people and took it to the stage – well the softcore version anyway!

Don’t get me wrong there are some limitations with the poster – it’s designed for male wheelchair-users for a start. A few times in my set I’ve loved inviting male audience members up on stage, to sit in my wheelchair and try out a few of the positions with me. It can be fun but it depends on what kind of an audience you have!

Initially, it was just something fun to put in the act but after experimenting with it on stage, I thought it would be great to try out some of the positions… But I soon realised it was much easier just to go to bed – I guess I’m just a creature of comfort!

The hunt begins

DSCF1376-edit_half

I decided I might find my dream man online. So I got busy. The first one I tried was Plenty of Fish, then I tried Tinder, then I went on Ok Cupid, then I tried Guardian Soulmates – you think if people are paying to subscribe then they’re into something more than just a one night stand.

I was on Guardian Soulmates for one month and no one contacted me. It was really upsetting, like – wow, not even one person got in touch with me. It was really weird. So I’m not on there anymore.

I’m still on Tinder. I use it like playing solitaire, swipe, swipe, swipe – when I’m bored.  I get to chat to guys, get some material out of it – it’s fun and then sometimes every now and then you go on a date or you might hang out with that person for a little bit.

When’s the right time?

In the beginning all the pictures I uploaded of me online were without any aids. But then there was always this awkward moment of when is the right time to tell them I have muscular dystrophy?

If we go on a date I can’t just turn up with my wheelchair because they’re going to be shocked!

I would often match with someone on Tinder, start chatting to them and then it would get to a point when we’d arrange a date I would have to say: “Listen I have to tell you something before we go on a date, because I want to be honest and I don’t want you to get a shock, I have muscular dystrophy and I use a wheelchair”.

Some said “no – I can’t do it”. They cancelled. Some were up for new experiences and would meet up with me out of curiosity to find out what it would be like to go on a date with someone who’s disabled.

Everything works properly down there…

I got to a point where I had enough with having these awkward moments and conversations. It’s really hard to digest when guys don’t want to go out with you anymore because you’ve told them you are disabled and you use a wheelchair.

So I decided to change my profile pictures and use ones of me standing with my crutch or in my wheelchair, so they can see I am disabled.

I still got my matches on Tinder but the number of guys who wanted to chat to me dropped completely. Normally I’d have a few guys contact me every day. After I changed my picture, it took ages before someone messaged me. I tried messaging some guys, some would chat back but then that just gets boring after a while.

At least now I don’t have that awkward moment to deal with. Sometimes they ask me questions about my condition – what it is? Can I have sex? Yes I can! Everything works properly down there, don’t worry about that.

I think for that reason – I had to put something it in the show – these experiences have shown me I have to try and change people’s perceptions as much as I can. I’m still waiting for someone to help me try all the positions in the Kama Sutra – can you believe it? – I haven’t had any takers yet!

Romina shared her story as part of Scope’s Romance Classics. You can read more sexy stories from our authors:

Read ‘One Track Mind’ by Mik Scarlet.

Read ‘Recipe for Romance’ by Ronnie Murray.

Read ‘The Sensual Scribe’ by Penelope Friday

Scope’s Romance Classics: Penelope Friday is ‘The Sensual Scribe’

An illustrated spoof romance novel, 'The Sensual Scribe'Penelope Friday is an erotic fiction author with a penchant for raunchy tales of sex and romance.

This sensual scribe will not stand for the “disabled people don’t have sex” attitude. Why wouldn’t the ‘Lusty Lady’ use a wheelchair or the ‘Horny Hunk’ be deaf?

She is here to mix sex and disability into the pages of her tantalising tales.

I came into writing erotica through fan fiction. Fan fiction (often called ‘fanfic’) is a class of writing in which you take other people’s characters and give them adventures of their own.

A large proportion of this is dedicated to writing ‘adult’ fiction – no matter whether the original characters were engaged in sexual activity or not!

I always feel as if I should apologise for coming to the genre through fanfic, as it’s seen as a ‘lesser’ form of writing, but actually the amount of fun I’ve had – and the amount of friends I’ve made – through writing it means that I decided that I didn’t want to suggest that I regret my beginnings!

Baring it all

When I first started having erotic fiction published, I didn’t originally intend to write so much on disability and sexuality issues.

To be honest, it didn’t occur to me that it was needed until I wrote an article for Disability Now and acknowledged the lack of disabled characters in my fiction.

After that, the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. It wasn’t just that I hadn’t written erotica with protagonists with disabilities; I hadn’t found disabled characters in anyone else’s work.

It was as if disabled people never had sex: we didn’t seem to exist in mainstream erotica.

Sadly, this “disabled people don’t have sex” attitude is one I’ve experienced in real life: I have an invisible disability (ME) and am treated like two different people, depending on whether I’m in my wheelchair or not.

In the former case, people never catch my eye, let alone show any interest in me. While I can’t say that everyone falls over themselves to flirt with me when I’m without the wheelchair, certainly I’ve had some attention!

With this in mind, I wrote my first story with a disabled narrator, Picking the Man. The story was written from the point of view of Ellie, a wheelchair-user who’s quite upfront about the fact that she’s sexually active.

The story involves her chatting up a non-disabled man with whom she’d like to have sex. Given my own experience, I wanted to face (and challenge) the attitude issue.

Ellie describes the potential date as thinking: “It sounds like she’s flirting with me. But she can’t be – she’s in a wheelchair!”

It’s not all just sex, sex, sex

Overall, I’m interested in people. Everything I write – erotica or not – is based upon the people in the story.

Yes, I quite often write about people having lots of sex, but I start with the characters, not the sex. I imagine a person, and it is their experiences that I write about.

As well as writing about characters who are disabled, I write across the sexuality spectrum: I’ve probably written more LGBT fiction than straight fiction. My protagonists may be male or female (or neither), straight or queer, disabled or not. It’s about the people, and who they are – not what they are.

Getting what I want

It has become something of an obsession to write characters with disability into my erotic stories, many of which have been accepted by mainstream publishers. I think there’s a place for dedicated disability publishers, just as there is for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender publishers. It’s good to have places that we minority groups feel we can rely on to acknowledge our existence!

But it’s also important for mainstream publications to take erotica that features disabled people. Some of my erotica has been published in anthologies where my story will be the only one with a disabled protagonist and it reaches a different audience, mostly non-disabled.

I want to challenge these people’s assumptions about disability. I write from the viewpoint of the disabled protagonist, trying to give an insight into the character and demonstrate that people with disabilities don’t actually spend all our lives thinking about our disability any more than non-disabled people would consider the way their bodies work.

I occasionally get emails or letters from people who really appreciate the fact that I’m writing about disabled characters, and I treasure them immensely. I want to normalise disability because, after all, for disabled people, living with disability is normal. This is how our lives are.

And yes, we have sex!

Penelope shared her story as part of Scope’s Romance Classics. You can read more sexy stories from our authors:

Read ‘On the Prowl’ by Romina Puma.

Read ‘One Track Mind’ by Mik Scarlet.

Read ‘Recipe for Romance’ by Ronnie Murray.

 

Scope’s Romance Classics: Mik Scarlet has a ‘One Track Mind’

ETA valentines cards Mik_v3Mik Scarlet is a broadcaster and journalist with a one track mind. Since a spinal injury in his teens left him unable to get an erection, he has explored alternative erogenous zones, ‘thought orgasms’ and a whole new world of sexuality.

Mik likes to share the love so he talks about his carnal discoveries to help other people with spinal injuries and impairments to reach orgasm.

This blog contains frank information about sex. It’s meant for people over the age of 16, so please only continue if you are 16 or older.

Sex is so much more than the method for making babies. It should be fun, exciting and a great way of bonding with a partner, whether they are the love of your life, your current squeeze or a one night stand.

It’s this element of their sex life that many spinal injured people feel they have lost, especially early on when they are learning to live with their injury. But trust me – nothing could be further from the truth.

If you’ve lost the ability to gain erections, but can still feel aroused, then with a little effort you will find that you can achieve multiple orgasms. It transpires that it is the erectile system that prevents men enjoying sex in the way women can, and once you experience this you tend to not miss a ‘hard-on’ in quite the same way.

Discovering a new world of sexuality

For those who have lost sensation, there is now a growing group of therapists and disabled people, myself included, that are promoting various ways of turning the erogenous zones on the parts you can feel into orgasmic zones, which opens up a whole new world of sexuality.

There are many differing techniques so it might be worth trying a few to see which suits you. But trust me; it really is possible to orgasm even if you are paralysed from the neck down.

Sure, sex after a spinal injury will be different than it was before, but with the right attitude, support and partner it can be better.

When I incurred my spinal injury I thought my sex life was over, but nothing could beat the sex I have now. A lot of that is due to my injury and how it made me re-examine what it means to have sex.

In this video, Mik reveals how to create orgasmic erogenous zones anywhere on your body and how to enjoy ‘thought orgasms’ by conjuring up your sexiest, X-rated fantasies.

Penelope shared her story as part of Scope’s Romance Classics. You can read more sexy stories from our authors:

Read ‘The Sensual Scribe’ by Penelope Friday

Read ‘On the Prowl’ by Romina Puma.

Read ‘Recipe for Romance’ by Ronnie Murray.

Scope’s Romance Classics: Ronnie Murray’s ‘Recipe for Romance’

An illustrated spoof romance novel, 'Recipe for Romance'This Valentine’s Day treat your lover to a lie in whilst you whip up a Recipe for Romance.

Chef Ronnie Murray posing for a photo in his restaurant kitchenRonnie Murray is the Group Head Chef at Mark Hix restaurants and has a shortened left arm which has never held him back in the kitchen, or the bedroom.

He shares with us his Valentines treats guaranteed to keep the fires of passion burning longer.

This blog contains frank information about sex. It’s meant for people over the age of 16, please only continue if you are 16 or older.

Sex and dating with a disability can be stressful enough without the thought that you also need to perform in the kitchen to keep someone interested.

Having a shortened arm definitely hasn’t ever held me back, in my career, or the bedroom. In fact my wife is adamant it’s a big bonus having more room to manoeuvre when we’re in the middle of a romantic clinch!

All I’ve ever wanted was to be a chef and through passion and hard graft I’ve made it happen. With sex it’s the same thing- creativity and determination!

People ask me strange questions about my arm all the time, which can get a bit wearing but I know it’s just comes down to a lack of understanding at the end of the day.

I’ve never had bad dates because of my disability. It’s a talking point.
I don’t know whether being a chef ups your sex-symbol credentialsbut treating someone you fancy to a brilliant breakfast in bed certainly helps to keep you ahead of any dating competitors.

Blueberry Drop ‘Your Knickers’ Scones

My blueberry drop ‘your knickers’ scones will have your lover begging for more under the covers action.

Blueberry compotePicture of blueberry pancakes

100g frozen blueberries
50g jam sugar

Put the frozen blueberries and caster sugar in a pan on a low heat, bring to the boil, stirring from time to time. Simmer for a few minutes until the compote starts to thicken. Set aside to cool.

Drop scones

250g self-raising flour (dove gluten free)
2g baking powder
50g caster sugar
10g golden syrup
2 eggs, beaten
About 300ml milk
50g melted butter for greasing
50g frozen blueberries
150g blueberry compote
1 small pot of Greek yoghurt
1 tin of golden syrup

Sieve the flour and baking powder into a bowl, then add the sugar. Stir in the golden syrup, eggs and enough of the milk to form a thick smooth batter that just drops off the spoon. Using a spoon fold in the frozen blueberries.

Heat a non-stick pan or solid top and brush with some of the melted butter. Drop spoonfuls of the mixture into the pan and let them cook for 3 minutes until bubbles rise, then turn them over with a palette knife or spatula and cook for another 2-3 minutes. Put them on some kitchen paper, while you are cooking the rest.

To serve place a warm drop scone onto a plate, spoon some of the blueberry compote on top, place another drop scone on top to finish then drop a spoonful of Greek yoghurt on top and drizzle with some golden syrup.

Whip Up A Fruity Little Number

Serves 4

Picture of a yoghurt with berriesWhipped goat’s curd with berries and honey roasted oats
280g whipped goat’s curd
120g honey roasted oats
320g fresh berries such as raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, blackberries or a good mix of each
A drizzle of honey

Put a good dollop of the whipped goat’s curd on a plate and using the back of the spoon work the mix out to evenly cover the plate. Place the berries on top of the whipped cheese scatter the honey roasted over the top. To finish drizzle with honey.

Whipped goat’s curd

240g goat’s curd or soft goat’s cheese
40g icing sugar
1 vanilla pod
A splash of milk
Put the goat’s cheese, icing sugar and seeds from the vanilla pod in a large bowl. Using a whisk ‘whip’ all of the ingredients together, if it’s a bit thick add the splash of milk. This could also be done in a food mixer. This can be kept in the fridge for a few days until needed.

Honey roasted oats

250g oats
150g butter
125g honey
75g golden castor sugar
Pre-heat the oven to 190°C

In a pan melt the butter gently with the honey and brown sugar.
Add the oats and mix. Spread the mix onto a baking tray lined with silicone paper and bake in the oven for 25 to 30 minutes, occasionally turning them to ensure an even colour. This will keep in an airtight container for a few weeks.

Ronnie shared his story as part of Scope’s Romance Classics. You can read more sexy stories from our authors:

Read ‘The Sensual Scribe’ by Penelope Friday

Read ‘On the Prowl’ by Romina Puma.

Read ‘One Track Mind’ by Mik Scarlet.